← Go back The ART of saying NO
Published on Monday, September 26, 2016 by

Businesswoman holding baby son and coffee cup

I am a pleaser, and a “yes girl” by nature. I have been for as long as I can remember. I am the first to raise my hand to host events, dinners, birthdays, and be the driver on a girl’s road trip. I am a planner, an organizer, a social butterfly.

This changed early this year. I hit my limit.  My wings were clipped and I found my voice.

I was tired. I was tired of always being the yes, go to girl. For everything.  I also accepted every single invite I was given. Kid’s birthday parties, general events, work functions and dinners.  I didn’t want to miss out on anything. And I also didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

The gross reality was that I was disappointing myself.  A very busy full time career, a small child in full time daycare, the rat race of daily life was kicking me in the pants. And I simply could not keep up. Not to mention the amount of barking my husband received from me.  My evenings and weekends were no longer my own.  Our calendars were jammed with events, and family dinners, which I was hosting.

Once I decided to decline hosting events (in and outside our home) and the multitude of birthday invites, I felt liberated and let me tell you – this was a massive eye opener!  I was blown away at who stepped up to now become the hostess I once was.

I started to clear my calendar, and saw a glimpse of relaxation in our future.  We started to be able to sit as a family for weekend breakfasts without the need to rush out the door by 9am.

I reprioritized what was important to me, and that our time was valuable, and I became a bit selfish you could say.  I made ME, my number one priority, and FAMILY time number two.  I needed to re-evaluate my time, and carve out the minutes and hours I NEEDED to re charge. And to get the things done I wanted to get done.  I found time to write again, to work out (ok, occasionally work out, but at least I am thinking about it…) and to clean out those closets that have been on my mental list.

As we embark into Kindergarten this year, a full dance schedule, and Girl Guides, our time has shifted.  And I have once again re-prioritized our time. Realizing our youngest needs as much down time sometimes as we adults do. Lazy Sunday’s in PJ’s this fall will most definitely be on that priority list.I am still very social, and still love to host.  And we still do, however, sitting around someone else’s island in the kitchen seems to be a very much appreciated change.

Who knows, perhaps I have just freed myself up to be on the PTA, a Sparks Leader, or a professional people watcher.  The possibilities are endless.

It’s ok to stay NO, to decline.  Don’t feel the need to jam every waking hour with a new social event.  Kick back, find a sunny spot, a good book and a cup of tea.  Your mind will thank you for it.

Christi Manson is a full time professional, blogger and married Mom to a spunky 5 year old daughter. Christi lives in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada with her family, and spends time day dreaming and planning the next getaway adventure! Christi is a Family Travel Expert blogging about her adventures on www.carpediemourway.com


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