← Go back Table for Two: No Highchair Required
Published on Thursday, November 9, 2017 by

So you’ve decided it’s time to plan a date with your partner, leave the kids at home and just re-connect. Besides looking forward to this special couples’ time, you may also feel anxious about it. The pressure comes from feeling that the time is so precious that you need to make the most of every moment.

You and your partner are in a journey together and it can be hard to feel connected without thinking of the kids.

Contrary to common belief, it is okay to talk about the kids on your date, especially the moments that have made you laugh, feel grateful, and brought tender tears to your eyes. The person sharing parenting duties knows what your parenting journey has been like. You have a connection. It may be your only uninterrupted, private time to do so.

A couple’s date doesn’t have to be a dinner and movie after the kids have gone to bed.

Parents know they can stay up as late as they want, but the little one is still going to be the early bird. The “day date” offers more flexibility and doesn’t leave you as tired the next day.

When asked, couples often report the same desires for their date: not preparing meals, eating while the food is still warm and having uninterrupted quality conversations with their partner. Some new moms enjoy a sunny afternoon walk in a park and a dinner with wine at a nice restaurant. One husband summed it up this way; “we normally only get three to four hours so our date has to be short and sweet.

If time and resources don’t permit a date outside of the house it is still possible to have date night at home. Once the kids have gone to bed, couples can make the most of those few precious hours. One option to consider is to spend time together in your living room, curled up on your couch cushions or futon. If you like to watch movies together, invite your partner for a bath and watch it on your laptop.

Do you feel guilty being away from your kids or do you count down the minutes until you are free again? Parenting is always with mixed emotions and internally we can be at odds with ourselves. To ease the planning around your date night, keep it simple. Think about what you’d really prefer to do if you had a couple of hours together.

Making time to connect with your partner will help you to re-engage with your kids with more patience, empathy and energy. A small break in your routine can give you a boost that can last weeks. You may notice that you appreciate your partner more, feel more connected and feel you have maintained a sense of independence outside of being a parent. Sometimes the journey of parenting has been challenging. Couple time will give you the opportunity to encourage each other; be supportive; share a laugh or two; have fun together and rekindle the romance.

Our Top 10 Ideas for Date Night

  1. Take a handholding stroll at a local park. Pack a picnic basket and relax under the trees.
  2. For a dinner date night, share a meal at your favorite restaurant and a bottle of wine that you both enjoy.
  3. Enjoy live entertainment together, at a concert or street festival.
  4. Take a yoga class together. Enjoy stretching in the peace and quiet.
  5. Pretend to be tourists in your own city. Find local attractions and take pictures together.
  6. Try a new activity together.  Sign up for rock climbing, salsa dancing or scuba diving lessons.
  7. Go for a test drive. Head to your nearest car dealership and test drive your dream car.
  8. Create a special dinner.  Find a recipe you’ve never tried and make it together.
  9. Have a spa night at home. Give each other manicures, pedicures and back massages.
  10. Drive out to a country field, snuggle under the stars and try to find the constellations.

Bio: Tania is a registered family counselor and owns a private practice in East Vancouver focusing on relationships, families, LGBTQ, trauma and fertility issues. She resides in Vancouver, BC is a mother of three year old twins. She can be reached at www.tzcounselling.ca

 

 

 

 

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