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UPCOMING ISSUES |
PARENT TALKHow I spoil myself
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------ I spoil myself by Shopping, Shopping, Shopping. I get a thrill from shopping at thrift stores because I never know what “treasures” I will find. I often come home with a big smile on my face... My stress is relieved as I decorate my home with the nic-nacs that I purchase. After I've put my children down for their bedtime, I take a few mintues to sit down quietly, without any distractions and reflect on what things my kids have learned today. Then I go have a nice warm bubble bath or grab a foot scrub and massage my foot. Sometimes, I use a face mask to soothe all my stress away and it works! I spoil myself by carving out time every morning before she wakes for the day to scrapbook. I love looking through her newborn pictures and recording every little detail about her first days at home. Because the baby stage goes so quickly, it brings me great joy to know that I am preserving our family's memories for when Georgia is grown! I never underestimate the calming power of a hot bath... When the baby’s in bed, I retreat to my bathroom oasis for a little rest and rejuvenation. When I’m out shopping I always try to make a small purchase for my retreat, whether it be a new scented bubble bath and candles or a book or magazine to indulge in during my nighttime treat. I curl up on the couch and read a really good book while nibbling on chocolates. This seems like the only time during the day that I have time for myself to relax and unwind from a hectic day. I created time for those small things I want to do ‘some day’: write a letter to a friend from elemetary school, read Simone de Beauvoir in English and in French, learn more about Paleolithic art, exercise and (try to) lose my postpartum fat, make a list of places I would like to visit. I treat myself by leaving my toddler and baby at home with my husband and going for a girls’ night out. We might go to dinner, dancing, or just to a coffee house. My friends and I don't see each other as much as B.C. (Before Children). It takes a little schedule coordination as some of us have little ones, but when we do get together, it’s just liked old times – talking about girl stuff and catching up on each others’ lives. -------- I thought I knew everything to being a parent. I had a plan, a vision. I think I was about two months into motherhood when I realized I wasn’t in control, my son was. I worked around his schedule and that philosophy really hasn’t changed in the two years I’ve been a mom. He’s taught me love beyond my wildest imagination, patience in my hurried life, gratefulness to have such a miracle belong to me, and the power to show me what life is really all about. - Kelli Lawrence One day I raised my voice to my toddler. He looked at me for a second and walked over rubbing his little hand on my back and then kissed me. I couldn’t help laughing and forgot what I was angry about. He has taught me how to use a caring approach to deal with toddlers’ tantrums, be patient, be happy, to love and to enjoy simple things in life. I’ve also learned lots about myself. - Cheryl Wang To become more gentle. Having a baby has made me realize that I could no longer be like a bull in a china shop. I had to learn how to slow down and become very gentle when handling him. Easier said than done if you only knew what a tomboy I usually am! Well, not only has my son become a gentle and calm baby but mom is thinking that she could actually take ballet lessons and look graceful for a change! - Xenia Herold My first baby taught me how precious human life is. I miscarried my baby after 6.5 weeks of pregnancy. It was a very challenging and hard experience to go through...I am now 14 weeks pregnant with my second child and every day I take the time to put the hand on my belly and tell my baby how much I love him/her... I am also reminded to do the same with all my family members. - Mirella Russell ...what an absolute miracle birth is ...to always be patient and understanding ...that I had very little knowledge of parenthood until I actually became one ...to place a greater value on time spent with family ...how little material things mean ...the enormous value of hugs and kisses - Michelle Conners Their innocence in the world, their enjoyment of simple small things, like a flower going into bloom or a beetle crawling across a leaf. They are growing so fast that sometimes I don’t know where time has gone, and that is the reminder that I take to heart the most. There will always be dishes to do, bills to pay, “things to get done” but they are little for such a short time that my best investment is taking the time to play and see the enjoyment in their eyes, and to cherish those moments because they are gone too quickly. - Lisa Horne As a new mom the best thing my baby has taught me is that procrastination is alright. Time spent doing the dishes or laundry right away is no where near as regarding as time spent snuggling with Helaina. - Lexa Downie I planned to teach my baby everything I know but instead he has taught me to appreciate the simple daily activities that make me laugh. When he first discovered playing with shadows on the wall, his uncontrollable giggles every time I tickle him during “Pat-a-cake,” or seeing his face scrunch up with displeasure at his first taste of yogurt, I feel like I’m experiencing these moments for the very first time. - Lena Ng My daughter has taught me about taking the time to enjoy life. You need to stop doing everything and have the bonding and play and relaxation that you and your baby deserve. When she is happy then I know as a mother I must be doing a good job. She will only be a baby once so I know I need to soak it all it. - Lauren Ferry Gratitude: After six years of trying, I’m grateful to be blessed with a precious, fearlessly-loving, joyful child. Patience: I’m learning to be patient with human limitations. It has also been helpful to have to be still while nursing. Awe: Seeing my son look at the world helps me to let go of some of the cynicism I had developed, and see with new eyes. - Elaine Hitchinson My son has taught me patience and the ability to slow down. I find myself being able to slow down and be at peace with the slower pace. I remind myself how important what I’m doing with Marcus is by using the self talk statement of, “I am Marcus’ mom.” There is something so beautiful about it that I feel fulfilled doing the simplest of things with him and for him. - Angelina Padovano ------ My son is
now 14 months old and I cannot live without those Baby Einstein videos
... he loves them and it's the only way I get a shower, or can eat lunch! I received
a Munchskins Mini Kit as a shower gift and it has four little gifts in
it that I use almost every day. The first is Bum Bum Balm. I put this
on my baby girls bum at every diaper change. So far no rashes. It also
goes into that hidden neck space that gets red and rashy. Once I found
this spot I started putting it there daily, no more redness. When I bathe
my four-month-old I wash her body and hair with the soap bar. I emailed
the mom who makes these products and she said that there are only a few
essential oils that can be used on new babies skin and that this soap
doesn't contain any irritants ... I started to become more aware of all
the ingredients in some of the products we're expected to use on our new
babies. Knowing this, my friend knew I'd love these products. I thought
that this was a great gift. Since then I've ordered Sweet Cheeks from
Munchskins too. With the recent cold weather, her cheeks have been getting
nice and rosy, but also chapped. Sweet cheeks softens them up and makes
her smell good too. OK, first
thing I have to admit is that I am not a parent, yet, but am obsessively
and embarrassingly always looking for new and exciting ways to spoil my
two-year-old nephew Aydn. My sister lives in Nelson, BC and I live in
Vancouver so I feel it is my duty to keep my favourite little toddler
up to date on the latest fashions and products. So I was searching the
Web one Friday night (yes that's right I have no life) and I came across
this baby skin care line called Munchskins boasting an all-natural aromatherapy
skin care line for moms and babies. So I ordered one of everything and
had it sent up to them. Many tins later, my sister has not stopped raving
about this product! She is particularly fond of the Bum Bum Balm and the
Sweet Cheeks for those cold winter days. Since then I have ordered several
of the new Mini Kits and given them to all of the new mothers I know.
The most
valuable, life-saving item we had in our home was an exercise ball. As
infants, both my children suffered from reflux, a condition where the
flap closing off the esophagus isn't fully formed, causing painful heartburn.
The only position that gave my kids any comfort was sitting in our laps,
face forward, leaning against our chest and gently bouncing on the ball.
We wouldn't have made it without the ball! My husband
and I couldn't live without the MegaSaucer! My son just loved swivelling
around in the seat, and having all these fun knobs and things to push
and pull. A lifesaver! It gave us a few minutes of hands-free time to
do chores. -------- Determination
to have three natural births. First time - sang and moaned the musical
scale in operatic tones. Second time - gritted my teeth and told myself
that I am too old for this so push and scream like hell. Third time -
hop from leg to leg and chant until the nurse told me to get on the bed
or else I will have the baby on the floor. For birth
1, I surprised myself by using vocal toning to help ride the pain of the
contractions...it really worked! For birth 2, our doula's encouragement
to use the birthing bar really helped to bring the baby down. For both
labours, I also depended on my husband's massage, a bit of gas, remembering
that the pain is only temporary, and focussing on wanting to hold my beautiful
baby. I had learned
how to chant in my prenatal yoga class and found it to be so soothing
and therapeutic. During labour, chanting the vowels of the alphabet enabled
me to regulate my breathing, calm myself and to concentrate. My husband
who was by my side. [He] comforted me and left work for a couple a days
to be with me in the hospital. I appreciate all the support from my husband
and the hospital who gave me my little princess Isabelle. My husband
got me through labour! He was the best coach, giving me encouragement
each time I had a contraction, and he kept telling me, "only a few more
seconds 'til it's over!" That got me through three hours of pushing! What mattered
most was love and sensible advice. My midwife gave me this invaluable
visualization, "Each contraction is a wave. Stay on top of it." My Superman
husband breathed me through every contraction. My unborn
daughter got me through labour. The intense love I already felt for her
gave me courage. I hired a
doula. She was amazing and in combination with meditation and breathing
techniques from yoga, my body took over totally naturally during labour
and I made it without any drugs. If it weren't
for seeing my husband's face floating in front of me, and his hand holding
mine while the doctors used the forceps to get my baby out, I don't know
how I would've gotten through it. I was five
months pregnant when my grandmother passed away. I was induced at 36 weeks
gestation. When the contractions were getting hard, I felt the presence
of my grandmother. She was one of the strongest ladies I knew and she
got me through the pain. Thirteen
months ago, I survived the 30-hour labour and delivery. I can still see
my husband Bryan in my mind's eye, shower nozzle in hand, wondering who
replaced his wife with this screaming banshee. He was on his feet as long
as I was, aiming the water higher! Warmer! Stronger! It was my
husband's poor hands! Every time a contraction came, I squeezed his hands
so hard he almost screamed! I don't know what I would have done without
him. He never complained and now thinks it's funny. He says that at the
time, he was worried I would break some of his fingers! Now, two weeks
later, his hands are finally back to normal colour! I always
thought I would be terrified in the labour room. Instead, it was a joyful
and exciting experience. I prepared myself and my husband by working with
a wonderful doula, Joy Boudreau. This, combined with my yoga practice
and massage helped me focus on giving birth the way I wanted to - without
drugs. My husband's
incredible coaching. I asked him to help me visualize. First, with every
contraction, he described a relaxing Mexican holiday. Then, when the pain
reached a point that I couldn't relate to "relaxing," he started describing
skydiving! This coaching is easily the most important thing that got me
through labour! -------- ...to
keep the old diaper covering my son's privates right up until the new
diaper was ready to be put on...my son sprayed us so often we almost nicknamed
him "Old Faithful." ...the first
time I held my baby, I would feel so happy, proud and excited. After that
we were busy feeding, changing the diaper, then washing up. We are busy,
but we are happy. At midnight when she's crying, I get up like a arrow
to feed her. I feel so proud I am a mother. ...to have
a couple of bottles and formula handy just in case breastfeeding for the
first few days at home didn't work out. My milk wasn't coming in fast
enough and my baby was still hungry early in the morning. I was stuck.
I phoned my mother-in-law to help and she came to us with some feeding
supplies. Knowing this would've saved us a lot of worry and and an unhappy
baby. ... that
my vision of a quiet baby, sleeping in between his feedings and diaper
changes may not be the case. Noah came into this world screaming for his
numerous needs to be met by us, the ever-exhausted, always-searching-for-the-cure-to-his-screams,
never-sleeping parents. Nobody told me that "high-need" babies exist.
...how quickly
the years between 3 and 17 would go, and how much things change once they
hit their teen years. ...how quickly
babies grow and change. My 6-month-old is over 20 lbs and I was unprepared
for how my 7 lb 10 oz newborn grew so rapidly. I keep thinking "Where
did my little baby girl go?" ...not to
let my chest get sunburned when I'm breastfeeding. If you do happen to
get a sunburn, hang a light sheet or towel down so the baby will grab
onto that an NOT your breasts! Ouch! ...that each
morning, afternoon and night would be completely different from the next.
That advice would have helped me manage through the rough nights when
my baby refused to sleep knowing that the following night would be completely
different and that I may get plenty of sleep. - ...breastfeeding
could be so challenging. Everyone recounted the horrors surrounding birth,
yet no one mentioned the difficulties of nursing... It took a lot of patience,
guidance, and support to enable me to continue breastfeeding eight-and-a-half
months later. ...to ignore
all of the crazy advice loving mothers, intrusive mothers-in-law, well-meaning
friends, nosy colleagues and complete strangers want to give to new mothers.
Suddenly everyone is an expert doling out suggestions, at times scarring
new moms into a fearful state of worry. I have found that my baby has
been able to tell me exactly what to do and when to do it... Everything
will be just great if you allow yourself to trust yourself and do it your
way! ...about
all the baby and kids' stuff swap meets around Vancouver. There's a list
of them at www.kidsvancouver.com/swapmeetfall.htm.
My mom and I went to a lot of these swap meets, and got super-cool toys
and brand-name clothes for a fraction of their retail price. ...how profoundly
good it would feel to be loved by my own child - I would have become a
parent much sooner! Having my daughter has given me such a sense of purpose.
As busy and as complicated as life has become, so too has it become simple
because my priorities are so clear. ...some babies
nap only 20 minutes once or twice daily. Prenatal dreams of guilt-free
emailing or housework (!) shattered by month three when my adorable companion
occupied all my waking moments, keeping me from my lengthening "To Do"
list. After brief denial I picked up on his daily rhythm and life became
truly enjoyable. -------- Your favourite place to go with baby The local
park has to be a favourite, as it always elicits lots of screams and shrills
of delight. The swings and slides are my 20-month-old's favourites. Old Orchard
Park in Port Moody is a big hit with my 17-month-old daughter. The trees
provide shade in summer, and there is a sandy beach to play on once she
is tired of the playground. I like to
take him to our backyard where I can place him in his swing. He just loves
it and laughs which makes me laugh. He is my stress reliever after a hard
day's work. The swimming
pool for his swimming lessons. He loves the water and demonstrates an
eagerness to learn new skills. The Bloedel
Conservatory, where the multitude of tropical plants and the sounds of
birds will make you think of that bungalow in Bali or the gardens of a
faraway home. On rainy days in particular, this is a wonderful place to
have lunch. The West
Vancouver seawall. We began our little ritual when he was two weeks old.
The ocean breeze and the sound of the waves calms him instantly and he
drifts off to sleep. I walk sometimes for two hours so he gets a decent
nap. I throw a blanket in the basket of the stroller and stop along the
way for lunch. I lay him on his back and he stares in wonder at the trees,
birds and airplanes above him. I love going
everywhere with my son, really, ANYWHERE. The way his eyes light up at
everything, he's given me a new lease on life, a new appreciation for
my surroundings. My son makes the mundane everyday activities come to
life in a way I never thought possible. My favourite
place to go with my baby is Queen Elizabeth Park. We enjoy watching geese
play in the pond and seeing a mother duck followed by her five baby ducks.
Riding the
skytrain is always a great place to go. Where else can you see the streets
of Vancouver from varying heights! My son sees and meets people of all
cultures and lifestyles-some from around the world, during tourist season,
and some 'homegrown.' My bi-weekly
postnatal fitness class Barefit and Pregnant. I've been going since I
was six weeks post and am still loving it 16 months later. It's a fabulous
place to bond with other moms, for the babies to interact and for me to
get back in shape! Lonsdale
Quay - rain or shine - is a great place for moms to meet. The market is
indoors, offering protection from our westcoast elements. Generous aisles
and seating allow room for strollers, and yummy eateries provide sustanence
after strolling. Depending on the season, there may be live entertainment
in the plaza to compliment the view of downtown. The mom-tot
group. Ben and I have both made friends, we learn a lot, we socialize,
we play, we even organize events outsite of the group for moms only! Plus
we can ask the nurses any questions we might have. It is an all-around
positive experience! ------ Beyond the pill… birth control options for women Say ‘birth control’ and most people think ‘the Pill’. But if you’re looking for an alternative, are there any good options? Actually, yes. Recently, there have been some new twists on hormonal methods, and some older methods are experiencing a comeback. Here’s a sampling of some choices you may not know a lot about. NuvaRing Potential side effects are usually minor and temporary: headaches, breast tenderness, and nausea. If you’re over 35 and smoke, or you have a history of blood clots or breast cancer, you can’t use NuvaRing. Ortho Evra Side effects mirror those with NuvaRing, with the additional potential for skin irritation at the application site. You should be aware that Health Canada is currently reviewing the data on Evra, in light of new warnings from the FDA in the United States. The birth control patch used in the US appears to give higher estrogen exposure than does the birth control pill. Higher estrogen has been associated with a higher risk of blood clots. It’s important to note that the Canadian version (manufactured in Europe) has lower dosing than the US patch. The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada states that Canadian women should not be concerned about using Evra. Diaphragm The diaphragm is a shallow latex dome that you insert before intercourse, into the vagina and up against the cervix. There, it acts as a sperm barrier. Some women complain of the messiness. But it’s simple and has zero effect on the rest of your body. To get a diaphragm, you need to see your doctor and be fitted for one, via a pelvic exam. IUD (Intra-Uterine Device) The copper IUD can cause painful and heavy periods, backaches and headaches for some women. Mirena, on the other hand, lightens your period. It’s possible that you may have irregular spotting in the first three months, which usually improves, or you may stop having periods altogether. Complications are rare. Perforation of the uterus with insertion, and pelvic inflammatory disease are the most serious. Tubal Ligation In tubal ligation, the fallopian tubes are surgically disconnected, making transport of eggs into the uterus, and thus fertilization by sperm, impossible. Very infrequently tubes can re-connect on their own, trying to heal themselves. Reversal is a complicated procedure, and not always possible. Following surgery, you may experience pain, nausea and bleeding. The most serious complication is ectopic pregnancy, when the embryo implants somewhere outside the uterus, usually in a fallopian tube. Fortunately, this happens very rarely. Most couples considering sterilization will opt for vasectomy – the simpler, safer procedure. But the decision is highly personal. None of the methods discussed above will protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. For that, you should also use a condom. There’s no perfect option. Talk to your doctor and your partner, and keep an open mind. |
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