Next time your child’s behaviour troubles you, ask the question “What’s the meaning of it all?” As a parent, you may be surprised to find out that daily life experiences – including their children’s behaviour- can reveal essential clues into discovering what’s going on inside you.
When a child demonstrates undesirable behaviours and crosses the boundaries, parents have an opportunity to follow through with two goals to get REAL results:
1. Follow through with a discipline routine that may include re-direction or natural consequences.
2. Follow through with a routine of reflecting inwards. Ask yourself, “What does this all mean to me?”
It can be challenging for some to take this journey inward however, as an Early Childhood Consultant and Parenting Coach, this technique is critical as it helps in getting to the root of the ‘problem’ or ‘behaviour’. This is where transformation happens and real results occur. Mirror Reflection Parenting is an extremely effective parenting tool offering many benefits for parents and their children. Any parent can become skillful at it, just like learning a new hobby or practicing yoga and meditation.
Benefits of Mirror-Reflection Parenting:
1. It allows opportunities for parents to find their true purpose in life and potentially help find the solutions to issues, questions and inner turmoil that they may be experiencing.
2. It can deepen the relationship between parents and children by increasing understanding how children play a significant role in helping parents achieve their very best.
3. It can build more secure and confident children which is the foundation for healthy growth and development.
4. Allows parents to build sustainable parenting skills to help figure out their child’s behaviour now and in the future.
Handling Undesirable Behaviours:
Acknowledgement and Awareness
Be aware of what is going on and acknowledge your child’s feelings even if they seem exaggerated or you don’t agree. This can really help build the trust-bond in the relationship by showing children that they can trust you with their emotions. Then follow through with the expectations and discipline.
Deal with Discipline
Create a ‘discipline plan’ which is a routine for respectful discipline that parents can use every time. This allows parents to work from something structured and prepared rather than from an emotionally charged place that may not be as effective.
Commitment to Consistency
Following through every time with discipline and the ‘Mirror Reflection Technique’, demonstrates to children a parent’s commitment to them which can increase their self-worth and enhance bonding.
Next time your child misbehaves, instead of reacting to the behaviour, just follow through with respectful discipline. Then, take some time to reflect on why this could be happening. Self-reflection can enhance your life and strengthen the relationship between you and your child.
Ultimately it’s a choice for every parent to make however, the invitation to reflect will continue to arise and intensify until you decide to take up that challenge and discover what else is behind the very essence of who you are. Parents who have accepted this understanding find their purpose in life more fulfilling and have a greater sense of gratitude towards their children.
Julie is a mom, an Early Childhood Consultant and owner of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach and consulting services, the children’s behaviour and discipline specialists. Learn more through tips and blogs at www.missbehaviour.ca.