← Go back I Didn’t Become a Mother to be Miserable
Published on Monday, August 14, 2017 by

Today I watched the trailer for Bad Moms 2 and it looks totally hilarious. I loved the first one so why wouldn’t the second one be great? One line in particular stood out in my mind: “Moms don’t enjoy, they give joy. That’s how being a mom works.”

The reality is, we are made to feel like bad moms for this, that and everything. Your house is not Pinterest-perfect. You look more like wild animal instead of glamorous Miss Piggy. Your children fight you tooth and nail over dinner, bath and bedtime, but despite all, that they’re actually happy!

After having a child, life as I knew it was replaced with a selfless love. That being said, I am still entitled to joy, moments, memories, and happiness. I became a mother to truly know unconditional love, to raise a child who knows what it is to feel cherished and have parents that are present.

I didn’t become a mother to be miserable.

I didn’t become a mother to sit on the sidelines while my children lived their childhood. I didn’t become a mother so that my children could be off making memories while I worry about décor or an Instagram-perfect meal. I’m chasing our dreams, not the illusive ‘perfect-mom’ award.

Motherhood is full of hardships. Your days are spent thinking about your child, wanting the best for them and doing whatever you can to make their dreams come true. We feel inadequate for not having that picture-perfect life but a picture is just a ‘snapshot’. And with social media we need to remember that it’s often a false one.

I love my child and I will do absolutely anything for her. I am there for her, and raising her to not only feel joy — but to see it too!

Despite that desire to give children the world, we forget that a happy childhood starts with a happy mom.

I saw a meme the other day that read, “There’s a reason Mama Bear’s porridge was cold”. I couldn’t help but laugh at how accurate that statement was. If it’s not cold porridge, it’s lukewarm coffee. It’s forgoing sleep so your child can wake up on their birthday to a world of confetti. It’s missing the winning goal because you are on the sidelines cutting one orange wedge after another. At some point the straw will break the camel’s back, and I for one am tired!

I’m tired of missing out on things, or being miserable in an attempt to become Supermom. So I stopped chasing the delusion and focused on my realities. I gave up trying to be someone I’m not. Most importantly, I learned to accept that my best is enough.

I still make sure my child’s needs are met, but I am also becoming more aware of my own. I prioritize what’s important and have given up the picture of perfection in order to actually be in the picture. My house is a little messier for it and activities, more spontaneous. Our holidays may not look ‘magazine-ready’, but my child knows joy.

I also make sure to carve out a little more me-time. Sometimes it’s as simple as having a glass of wine in the tub — do not disturb! Sometimes I will treat myself to a manicure. Occasionally, I’ll even steal an afternoon with a girlfriend at our local amusement park because sometimes you’ve just got to scream!

As a mom, choose what works for you. Find your balance and your joy, forget anyone that criticizes you for it. Being a great mom isn’t about cookie-cutter dreams, it’s about being there for your child and for yourself.

Joy radiates from within, so enjoy your (mom) life!

Andrea, is teacher turned stay-at-home mom to a sassy, tiny tyrant. She shares on her blog her passion for motherhood, marriage, food, health, kids and her home through humor, love and empowerment. www.momknowssomethings.com

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