Helicopter Mom, Helicopter Kid – Curbing the Urge

It is true, we get a bit of a bad rap. And I have to be honest, it used to bother me quite a bit. Being a mother to an only child, and having my child at the age of 37, I felt I had a few years of life experience under my belt. However, I must have missed out on the parenting manual they give to you at the hospital, because this has been my toughest job yet.

I think we come by this honestly, the helicoptering I mean. Type “A” personality, a dash of OCD, and the desire to make everything right and safe in the world, this is the end result.  And it really isn’t that bad, or so I thought.

For five solid years now, I have worried, re-directed – my child and others, and felt like I had a handle on this child rearing. I have embraced this, and I have also realized, we all have a different parenting style. I firmly believe a lot of this also has to do with the social world we live in. Whether it is the countless articles shoved in our face on parenting dos and don’ts, feedback from other parents, or observations on the playground, we all do this differently. And I am seemingly OK with that.

Our goal was to raise a kind, empathetic, aware little human.  And we have done that, to a vast degree. I am certain I could be classified as a no fun Mom at times, but there are things I just won’t back down on. I have a very good girlfriend with whom I travel with, our kids adore one another, I adore her, and we have very different parenting styles.  I wish at times I could be more like her. Carefree and trusting. I think my daughter loves these trips as I do tend to back off a bit more. Taking me way out of my comfort zone, but liberating for us both at the same time.

It was a true awakening to me the other day, I am raising a helicopter kid. She behaves the same way I do, mirroring my thoughts. At our new park the other day, some older kids were riding their scooters through the waterpark, and this definitely was posing a problem for my daughter. I was informed someone was going to get hurt, and it was “ridiculous.” Wow!  The hand on the hip while announcing this created a very dramatic effect.  She went for the gusto. I can’t really say I was upset to hear this, as I was thinking the exact same thoughts. The kids moved on eventually and all was right in the world again. For both of us.

I want to tell you though, we helicopter Moms, aren’t going to ruin your summer, I am not going to boss your kids around on the playground (well, I will try anyhow) and we aren’t as bad as we seem.

This was a very big awakening for me that there are a few things I would personally like to change about my parenting. For starters, I may just take a seat on the grass, a bit further away, and allow a little mind to make the right decisions, and watch from afar. Throw her a thumbs up when I see she has made the right choice, or a new friend. I want a break from parenting at the park. I want my daughter to have the freedom to explore, climb, run, negotiate and fall down without me scrambling like a galloping horse to her rescue.  She will be okay with a little scrape and dirt, and some bruised feelings, and we will be much better off for it.

So grab a bench Mamas, we have a lot of park visits left in our future.

Christi is a full time professional, blogger and married Mom to a spunky 5 year old daughter. Christi lives in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada with her family, and spends time day dreaming and planning the next getaway adventure! Christi is a Family Travel Expert blogging about her adventures on www.carpediemourway.com

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